Fainting in Coyles

2005-01-07T21:19:00.000+01:00

Momento Mori or joining the Great Satan
It is with much regret that I announce the abandonment of this my blog. The reasons I give are below.

Salary
Guaranteed salary with a tax rate of between 6 and 16%.
Before tax bonus of 16% as a nominally domiciled Brit forced to work in Brussels

Allowances p.c.m.
Head of Household allowance. Approx 150 Euro
Child allowance. Approx 350 per child (One and one arriving in March)
Schooling allowance. A measley 15 Euro, but that is only pre school, things get lots of fun as they get older.
Free healthcare for me spouse and child
Pension rights (Index linked)
Two extra days holiday a year due to voting in the Hebrides.
And those are the ones I know about.

In order to get this I have to turn up to work and perform my duties as an official in the European Parliament...

Those duties,

I am from this week the Head of Media for the Independence and Democracy Group in the Parliament. Which essentially means that the splendid European taxpayer is paying me to throw stones at the project.
Specific duties, attacking the European Constitution, fraud and the lack of transparency in the European institutions.
Oh did I already say I was going to get paid to do this.

Diabolic laughter stage left...

2005-01-04T09:13:00.000+01:00

Delusions of Empire or Law Street and its place in Europe

One of the great monuments of Brussels is the Imperial triumphal arch in the Jubelpark. This monument concieved to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the existance of this disfunctional country. It was opened 25 years late and had been financed almost entirely on the backs of dead Congolese tribesmen.
However it is pretty impressive and can be seen from the city centre. The view that it crowns is down one of the major spokes on the city's wheel; Rue de la Loi or Wet Straat. This street, as can be seen be this map. The road passes between the Berlaymont Building (newly and expensively refurbished home to the Commission President), Justus Lipsius (Home to the Council of Ministers), Charlemagne, (the foriegn ministry) and a number of other Commission buildings; it is a streeet to avoid during the increasing number of summits sffered by the city as motorcade after motorcade goes screaming, lights flashing, outriders driving ordinary mortals into the gutters - you get the picture.
Well, over the past couple of months this street has been becoming what can only be described as an imperial triumphal way. First it was completely resurfaced (not a bad thing in Brussels I can assure you). Then came the posh street furniture, then huge EU flags hanging from the buildings (both private and institutional) at perfect intervals. Now I note that it has the most impressive set of street lights, spaced 60ft apart.
The capital of an Empire needs its architectural symbols as as all great imerions have recognised. Brussels is getting its own.

2005-01-04T08:33:00.000+01:00

Flagetiquette

Walking, as I am lucky enough to do, to work this morning I noticed something rather odd. That is the different responses from the various countries embassies to the whole Tsunami disastor. That is, when to set one's flag at half mast and when not to? So the German flag was limp, as was the flag of Belgium, whereas the Finns, Norwegians and Brits, I am pleased to say, have kept their's aloft. However all the EU institutions had their flags at half mast. Not only that but when I arrived at the Parliament, it too had dropped all ts flags to half mast. Not only that but the Parliament has taken upon itself to render at half mast the flags of those countries whose own embassies have declined to do so.
Now the question that springs to mind is, does the Parliament, or for that matter the Commission have the right to unilaterally decide on flag flying policy for the nation states? Who owns the rights to the flags on the poles outside the institutional buildings? (Physically the institutions I guess, I suspect that they bought them, but morally, I am not so sure).

So I phoned the Commissioon's press service this morning to get an answer to this question. I phoned after 9 o'clock (well, it was at least five past). Only to be told that there not many press officers in this week, there is nobody in charge of Press relations for the Administration at all, in fact as the sectretary pointed out, "I have tried 5 different offices for you and nobody is in". The hing is of course that the executive descision must have been made by somebody. Somebody must have issuedf an order to pull the flags down. I shall report back later. I am told that a women called Pia Ahrenkilde will be able to help later.

Update
According to the Commission, not Pia who is alos not in today (despite the fact that I was initially told that she had been seen this morning - oops petty little lie I know but therte you go) the decision was made by the "Presidencies of Luxembourg(new) and Holland(old)". There will be a pan European three minute silence tommorrow.
Ah but the decision was made by, "Barrosso for the EU flag and the dirfferent countries of Europe for their flags". No the Commission does not decide for what seperate countries do, the flags will be lowered tommorrow,, they are already lowered, I don't know who is responsible.
So that's clear then. Next I will try the Parliament.

2004-12-27T13:30:00.000+01:00

A quick happy Chritmas type message.
Moving house, no ASDL, changing job, no ASDL. Blogging infrequent to doubtfull for a little while yet. But thanks to you all and see you later.

However, that being said, this blog itself may become a casualty of my employment. I will let you know how it pans out and how things move on in the next coupl of weeks.

2004-12-27T13:28:00.000+01:00

Odd documents, clever excerpts, and insightful links.

A kindly comment from Dennis Boyles over at the National Review. Well I have to blow my own trumpet now and then and if somebody else does it for me then I ha ve to be greatful; Thanks again Mr Boyles.

2004-12-21T14:10:00.000+01:00

Most of the fingers on the button will be German

This is worrisome, and comes via the ever excellent GermanForiegnPolicy.com What it is in essence is a report from the German Government's fully funded Foriegn Policy think-tank, the German Institute for International and Security Affairs.
If you are wondering about the title of the document, The European External Action Service, that is Eurospeak for the European foreign and security institution in creation. The army and diplomatic service combined.

Amongst other gems we must look out for are the areas which will be under the control of the European Foriegn Minister after the constitution has been ratified.
"in order to achieve the strategic goals of the Union, the European aid programme, the development fund, the military and civilian capabilities of the member states, the diplomatic efforts, the development, trade and environmental policies should be brought into line with one overarching objective".

My emphasis.

The paper goes on to point out that the move towards this is ordered "The start date given is not the coming into force of the Draft Constitutional Treaty, but its signing!" that is on the 29th October 2004. Even they seem suprised at the audacity of that judging by the punctuation.

They do see a danger in proceeding to rapidly or publically at this point because to do so might "cause a negative outcome for some referenda".

Germany is advised to firstly secure a service that is "loyal to the Community and the "spirit of the Community"", by ensuring significant German precence on the decision making committeess. Then it should join forces with everybody except the Brits and the French who might have a few issues with the plans. "In this conflict, Germany could play its established role as an intermediary between big and small countries". Don't you just love the idea of the biggest country in the EU acting as an intermediary with itself?

Oh and of course the systems should be made in the German image, thus "it is worth considering, in connection with the development of the EEAS, the instruments and procedures for the "institutional export" of German structures".

As Tom Lehrer once said,
Once all the Germans were warlike and mean,
But that couldn't happen again.
We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen,
And they've hardly bothered us since then.

2004-12-20T16:46:00.001+01:00

How to spend 375,000 Euro

Simple really when you are the Bureau opf the European Parliament and you have a Constitution to sell. Oh and please get this straight that is 375 thou per annum until the Constitution has been sold.

The reason I know this? That´ll be the document in my mits as I type, PE349.476/BUR/REV.
Sadly I only have the French language version of this so you will have to understand that the quotes are my own translations, not necessarily in the original document. That being said my translation will be pretty good.

You might remember that there was a concert last week in Strasbourg. The purpose of that concert was to celebrate the Yes vote on a pice of legislation. However the legislation was postponed, but the concert went ahead to the tune of 50 grand.
Now the legislation is due on the 11/12th January, and again we are all invited to the party in Strasbourg. The money I mention is to celebrate this event, the passing of the Mendez de Vigo/Corbett report on the EU Constitution.

So what to spend the cash on? Here goes...

"Publication of opinion articles, of the type "open letter to the Citizens of Europe", in the main national and regional neewspapers of the European Union. This procedure will be free, just like the letter sent by the President to the Italian press when the Constitutional Treaty was signed obn 29th October 2004"

This has a foot note to the extent that this will be run by DG Information, and will be repeated according to the timings of the referenda in specific countries. Which is pretty self explanitory, they expect to get their message into the op-ed columns of all European newspapers for free. How they get the papers to play ball will be explained.

"Invations to a large number 'plus grandes nombre' of journalists, in collaboration with the (European Parliament's) information offices to ensure maximal coverage of the events"

Please note, this is not expected to be free. Indeed the hundred journalists invited are budgetted to cost the Parliament 100,000 Euros. A hack at a thousand a pop. Bargin at twice the price if it's good for Europe.

Invitations to great thinkers and great writers from countries having referenda (names of those accepting invitations are already attached to the annex)

The original French says this better than I can even satirize. "des grands penseurs ainsi que de grandes plumes". Also interesting is that three have accepted the invites.
Adela Cortina Orts - A Spanish moral Philospoher from Valencia. nteresting she is fulsome in praise of;
Jeremy Rifkin - An all American idiot and author of The European Dream
Alain Minc. Oddly the information provided was lifted word for word from this site (first paragraph).

The good news for these lucky three (the only people to have accepted so far) is that the Bureau has set aside 35,000 for them to be spent over 2 days).But of course Rifkin is not fronma country with a referendum, but he is the favourite American in town so I guessthe 10 + thou spent on him is money well spent.

Then there is going to be a flash dinner - Hey it's the European Parliament, of course there is going to be a flash dinner. This one will have "whispering" interpretation, meaning that the interpreters hover discreetly behind each head pouring sweet nothings into the delegates ears.

Next will be a special 'round table' debate type TV programme, run by Spanish channel TVE-1. This is of course for the benefit of the Spanish President Borrell. The format will be "faux directe" allowing for editing out of unfortunate commentary. This is budgetted at 80,000 Euros.

So far Euronews, ARTE, Pheonix, RTP and the BBC have all asked for interviews.

And there will also be an association with "European Schoolnet", to engage all the kiddies. Go check out the UK aspect of this, wow, so much to rebel against so little time.

The party hats and streamers for this two day bonaza are budgeted at;
Internal decorations/balloons/those coloured pieces of string that you access pass is attached to/posters/books/ etc 45,000 Euros
External, bloody great poster attached to the outside of the European Parliament building in Strasbourg 80,000.

Add all that spend up and you come to the grand total of 340,000 Euros. Which is odd 'cos they initially budgetted and granted themselves 375,000 per annum. So that's an extra 35,000 floating around every year. No I do not know what it is for, and yes I will ask.

(NB - the big external poster looks like it is designed to break French political/eectroal law as it is in direct contravention of a law that bans political advertising. This will have a huge great "YES to the Constitution" (or actually "OUI" on it), all the way through the referendum campaign.

Now I can understand that they want to talk up their constitiution. But that is our money they are using to do it.

2004-12-17T15:23:00.000+01:00

Really?

Further to my comments earlier, it seems that Jack Straw has claimed that there is 'overwhelming support' amongst the British public for Turkish EU membership.

"In Britain I'm happy to say there is widespread agreement across the political parties in favour of Turkey joining the European Union and overwhelming support in the British public and that's great news because we in Britain recognise Turkey as a European nation as one which has the same values as we have."

How does he know that?

Well, in my continuing search into public opinion on this matter I have discovere that there has been a poll, conducted by French organisation Ifop. Have to ask Anthony about this lot)
According to them the breakdown in Europe is something like this;

Yes No Dunno
Spain 65 18 17
Italy 49 24 27
UK 41 30 29
Germany 33 55 12
France 32 67 1

This poll was for the Figaro on Monday.

So some support for the Foriegn Secretary's view there but I would hardly describe 41% as "overwhelming".

Update
Mr Wells points out in my comments that,

The Yougov poll in the Sunday Times this week asked about Turkish entry.

Support 30%
Oppose 42%
Don't know 28%

Overwhelming support then

2004-12-17T11:54:00.000+01:00

What is the right word for bloodthirsty dictator?

According to Reuters this,

"Mugabe, sole ruler since Zimbabwe's independence from Britain in 1980, is accused by his opponents and critics of running down one of Africa's most promising economies through a series of controversial policies, including the land seizures.

His critics say the 80-year-old Zimbabwean leader has become repressive in the face growing opposition to his rule, and has been forced to use violence and to rig elections held in the last five years to hang onto power.

Mugabe, a former guerrilla leader, denies the charges and in turn blames domestic and Western opponents of trying to oust him because of his black nationalistic programmes."

So the new word is "sole ruler", chickenshit Reuters, simply chickenshit.

Hat Tip John over at The England Project

2004-12-16T14:18:00.000+01:00

Freedom of Speech/ Belgium constitutional referendum

This is a fascinating article to follow up my comments earlier this week.
Please note the reason awhy people should not be allowed to decide about the Constitution of their own country,

Elio Di Rupo, leader of the French-speaking Socialists, said some parties might abuse the referendum to campaign against Turkey's EU bid or to further split linguistically divided Belgium.
"I fear some would use this fantastic debate which the referendum would create to launch xenophobic or purely racist remarks."

I wonder if he regards the dislike of Belgium, by Belgian citizens as xenophobia. And if so then surely he is admitting that they are are not Belgians at all but foriegners, because to hate Belgium and be xenophobic would require them to be foriegn.

Hat tip The Dog

2004-12-16T10:50:00.000+01:00

If this is true, then this is doomed

If Austria really is 75% against and 14% in favour of Turkish membership, then there will be hell to paty if the pwoers that be continue down the road they are travelling.
This whole Turkey saga is extrodinarily revealing as to the EU mindset. There is probably not a single county in Europe where an absolute majority of the population is in favour of full Turkish membership. Indeed if the polls that I have read about this are anythi g to go by what we have is yet another example were the ppolitical and central elite are riding roughshod over the opinions and fears of their own peoples. Oddly this time I agree with them, which in itself is unusual, but there it is.

Put it this way. The Commission has its own data and opinion collection organisation, Eurobarometer. Eureobarometer, as its name suggests, measures uropean public opinion. Its subject matter is legion, for example;
33% of people who play sport in the European Union do so because it increases their self control
34% of people in the EU believe that smoking cannabis is harmless
51% of Britains concur with the statement "The European Union must have a constitution. (though I have no idea who they have been talking to to get that figurtte).

However what i wuld really like to point out is that the Commission ask questions about just about everything, but they havenever dared ask the Turkey question.
Which therefore suggests that they are riding for a fall.

2004-12-16T10:10:00.000+01:00

Why is she referring to Europe?

Fiona Mactaggart, the excuse for a "Minister for Racvial Equality", a newspeak title if I eveer heard one has written in defence of her departments anti-liberal "thought crime" legislation. In her letter to the Telegraph today she claims that, "there will be important safeguards built into the law". Interestingly those safeguards include "articles IX and X in the European Convention on Human Rights".

Now hold on there Fiona, and where do these articles have any purchase in UK law?. Don't you remember that the Convention has "no more legal standing than the Beano". Oh but that has changed hasn't it?
Because the Convention on Human Rights is an integral part of the European Constitution. What seems to have slipped the Minister's excuse for a mind is that Britain has not signed the Constitution. Indeed it is unlikely to if the polls are correct.

So why is she lying? Oh I forgot she is a member of Blairs government and in particular his neo-facist Interior Ministry, of course she is lying.

What is sad of course is that this woman used to be the Chairman of Liberty.
An organisation which tells us it is
"Liberty is opposed to the proposal to introduce a national identity scheme".
However she seems to have had a 'road to Buchenwald' moment in the Guardian a while back where she renounced freedom for a permanent job in government. Her successor at Liberty, Rita Chakribati had this to say in response, (I quote in full)

As director of Liberty could I reassure Fiona Mactaggart (comment, Nov 13) that she will hear no sneers from my direction. She did valuable work as our chairwoman, especially the guidance she gave us on the arguments that Ministers would deploy in favour of ID cards.

Just over a year ago she warned of the ‘linguistic sophistry’ Ministers would marshal to claim ID cards are being introduced for the benefit of the most poor and vulnerable in society.

She was absolutely right. Here is Fionna Mactaggart writing in her capacity as a Home Office Minister on the consequences of not having an ID card if you are poor: ‘You will find it more difficult to vouch for your veracity when opening a bank account or registering at a GP.’ That sounds more of a threat than a benefit.

Fiona explains her change of mind in one word, ‘biometrics.’ But absolutely nothing has changed in the 15 months since she contributed to a pamphlet we produced on ID cards. Biometrics were then and are now, ‘hi-tech identifiers of your unique personal characteristics.’ But that doesn’t mean they can’t be copied. You would have to very naive to believe that any technology is infallible.

Fifteen months ago Fiona was convinced that compulsory ID cards would lead, as they have done in Europe, to a worsening of race relations. Try telling Turkish guest workers in Germany, or young Algerian men in France, that cards ‘do not have an unfair impact on ethnic minorities.’

As for her current claim ‘that there will be no new powers for the police to demand ID cards’ one can only wonder how she knows that. It will take 10 years to get the system working and we have no idea to what use the Government of the day will put ID cards.

Fiona now tells us that we need compulsory cards to stamp out ‘entitlement fraud.’ That’s what Mr Blunkett was saying 15 months ago and our former chairwoman had this to say :‘The Department for work and Pensions has made clear that that identity fraud is a fairly minor part of benefit fraud.’

She is entitled to change her mind but I think readers also have the right to know what she previously believed. They can do so in Liberty's ID Card Pamphlet:

2004-12-16T09:29:00.000+01:00

Extrordinary tale of a drunk, the police and stupid law.

The thought that a pub can be closed down because the police found somebody drunk in their just beggars belief. The only relief is that it did not happen in the UK but in Ireland. Though as soon as Polly sees the clippings she will be demanding action.

Hat tip Eric.

2004-12-15T16:12:00.000+01:00

Tempted by the '52

Oh lord it saddens me. I cannot go so far as to say that this will stop me voting Tory, it won't, but nthis plus pusillanimous positions on Europe and taxation might make me less keen to take up cudgels and charge around the countryside attempting to persuade others to vote.
Brave stand by the Candidate, I agree with every word, and implore advise and hope that readers might consider popping along to No2Id and signing their petition.

2004-12-15T14:52:00.000+01:00

Unhappy bunnies
Comiserations to two Tory MEPs. Giles Chichester and Philip Bushill-Matthews.
Giles was beaten by Timothy Kirkhope in his bid to become leader of the Tory delegation. The competition was between those two and Chris Heaton Harris. The first round of voting was as such.

Giles Chichester 10
Timothy Kirkhope 9
Chris Heaton Harris 9

C H-H representing the eurosceptic faction, Giles the Phile faction and TK the do what the manifesto says faction.

As the bottom two tied they had to draw lots, with Kirkhope winning. This meant that Giles who had lead into the second round hadn't a cat in hells chance: If the lot had gone the other way he was certain to win, as Kirkhope's supporters would naturally vote Giles rather than "rock-the-boat" Heaton-Harris. (NB. Chris was the former Chief Whip who resigned over the delegation's alliance with the federastic EPP before the election).

So bad luck Mr Chichester.

Phillip 'Bullshit'-Matthews, as he is unkindly known, must be spitting tacks however as he was worsted by Roger Helmer, professional amature and all round good egg, ib his attempt to win the post of party treasurer. Somehow resounding sceptic Roger hoovered up votes even amongst the philes, probably because, though every body agrees that he somewhat extreme in his views, everybody likes him. A classic example of Helmerism's is on the front page of the website,
"At the Waterloo monument, near Brussels, which commemorates Wellington's famous victory over the French in 1815."
Subtle our Roger isn't.

Bad luck Mr Bushill-Matthews.

2004-12-13T17:00:00.000+01:00

Constitution : Thoughts from Belgium

Just had a fascinating chat with a fellow who was deeply involved in the attempt to allow Belgians a vote on the EU Constitution.
From what he told me the decision day is tomorrow when the Belgian federal Parliament will take a formal vote.
It appears that they will vote against for various reasons. Of course the decision has precious little to do with the Constitution.
It appears that the increasingly powerful and flamboyant Elio di Rupo, is gunning for a No. In this he is supported by the Council of State. The Council announced that it was against a referendum, even merely advisory referendum, due to the fact that Belgium could not start having plebiscites. An advisory decision would not remain advisory, because no politician could then turn round to the populace and tell them to 'sod off'. All of the Walloon, French speaking parties, such as Di Rupo's Parti Socialiste area against, whilst some of the Flemish parties support a vote. (The only major Flemish party to be against is the Christian Democrats (CD&V) but they are run by Jean-Luc Dehaene who was one of the main framers of the Constitution).
The reason of course is that if one referendum could be held, the Belgian people might become accustomed to making decisions. Then they might ask whether Flanders should continue to subsidise Wallonia, or more frightfully whether Belgium should exist at all.
There are after all more Flemish than Walloons, see the problem.

Thus the people of this nether land will not get the chance to decide their future because their masters are frightened off the choice they might make.

2004-12-13T16:04:00.000+01:00

Priorities Gentlemen, priorities

Random Acts has an interesting post, as is the comment, about the way in which the emergancy serices are being used as "radiation canaries". Each and every one of the capital's paramedics will be carrying around a miniture gieger counter.
Now, as he points out, if a terrorists dirty bomb went off then we would know all about it and blokes in rubber suits would be all over the place.
So why?

As he says, "Should we enter a property where the alarm sounds, we will have to tell someone, that message will no doubt travel up the chain of command until it reaches someone who can organise a nice, friendly visit by HM government's finest".
This of course makes ambulencemen and firemen part of the front-line against terrorism.

Which in turn makes them targets.

2004-12-13T15:24:00.000+01:00

Odd attack

In a post last week, newish Tory anony-blogger The Candidate, launched an outspoken attacki aginst fellow candidate James Bethell. Despite claiming to be attempting to be good in a message to chief party dominatrix and she who must be obeyed Trish "The Baroness" Morris, she, for it is a she (should narrow things down then) she strongly suggests that he fixed the result that gave him a candidacy in Tooting. After talking about the possibility of
"There is also a view among some that who your parents are counts for a lot. Nowadays, clearly, this is rubbish … usually … and probably no more true for us than the other parties. Frankly we cannot afford to restrict our view to such a small, and mixed ability, field. Even so, was the son of a well-known Lord and former MEP who got selected in a south west London seat (no names again, but it rhymes with “hooting”) really the best candidate – in a seat apparently infamous for selecting the “wrong” candidates".
Wow, and she hasn't even been elected yet. Looking forward to that. Should be fun.
Good luck whoever and wherever you are. A bit more forthrightness never did us any harm.
For that matter I don't know James Bethell, but I did/do know his father. He seems pretty good on paper, taken advantage of his advantages and made them better. No crime there, and if I had built up a 60 million business I would feel confident that I had something to offer society.

2004-12-13T11:15:00.000+01:00

Things to do at Christmas

Terrified by the thought of Uncle Clive and his hamster impression? Allergic to spray string? Then can I sufggest a better way of spending Christmas.

Click here to go to the website of a group that is organsing election monitoring teams in t he Ukriane for December é-th. They are targetting under thirties, but drop thelm a line if you are interested. You pay flight and visa, they pay for evrything else.
Hat tip Nicholas

Oh, and applications need to be in by Tommorrow close of play.

2004-12-10T15:28:00.000+01:00

There is something fishy about Pollard, methinks

All the anglobloggosphere unites I believe in wishing every good fortune, and massive sales on publishing phenomenon, Spurs fan and gent Mr Stephan Pollard, sometime of my parish.
But I note a whiff of something. Yesterday the Stephen Glover in the Speccy pours cold water on the idea it was Blunkett himself who tipped off the Screws about his ladyfriend in some bizarre doctrine of pre-emptive strike agin his lover.

Is it not reasonable to ask whether it was Pollard himself who did the dirty. Image our portly friend quietly doing the maths. Big scandal, make the subject of my big fat advance (sorry book) into a more interesting figure.
Now the tyrannical petulant outpourings of out interior minister become so much more interesting to the public. Each new headline earns Stephen more and more.

2004-12-01T13:58:00.000+01:00

Reader Competition
Fainting in Coyles is proud to be running a competition, on the behest of the European Parliament's official "Working Party on Communication Policy with a view to ratification of the Constitutional Treaty".

The administration of the Parliament is looking for "ideas for a symbolic act, possibly outside the European parliament building and suitable for TV transmission, whereby the European Parliament would solemnly mark its approval for the European Constitution".
All suggestions will be passed on to the relevant authorities.

To start the festivities, "subject to the Bureau's approval, the European Youth Orchestra would give a concert subsidised by the EP on the evening of 15 December 2004".I can report that the approval was given and the subsidies amount to €50,000. Can I assure you that I will enjoy the concert on your behalf dear citizens, because , of course you do not have security clearance to enter the building.
Thanks for the taxes.

This piece of waste and premature celebration has been brought to you by, Richard Corbett MEP, Iñigo Méndez de Vigo MEP, Jo Leinen MEP, and others.

2004-11-22T16:35:00.000+01:00

Bloody Foreign Railways Is that better Richard?

Today I took the train from Brussels to The Hague. All well and good, until it parked itself somewhere between Antwerp and Rosendaal. For an hour.
When I spoke to the conductor I asked if I could get compensation. After all the train arrived in the Hague more than one and a quarter hours late, this more than fity percent of the journey time. The conductor laughed at the very thought of it. I asked him what was the normal procedure when the trains were that late.
"It happens all the time sir. I advise you to sit there and shut up", was the answer.

Now I will admit that the guy was talking to me it what was probably his third or fourth language, not bad for a train conductor. But still I reckon that even post privatisation British train companies behave better than this monopoly

2004-11-22T16:18:00.000+01:00

What the blazes!

"Much the same as if you were driving up the turnpike in America and you enter New Hampshire, it says 'Welcome to New Hampshire: Live Free or Die'," he said.
"You could drive up the M1 and you could enter Northamptonshire and it could say 'Welcome to Northamptonshire: This is Clause 28 country'."
Michael Gove on an interesting proposal to give County Councils more power.

Hat Tip Pollard's comments

2004-11-22T15:30:00.000+01:00

Are the police in league with hypermarkets?

Fascinating story coming out of the great dairy wars.

Asda declares war on producers
Asda's PR with Dairy Farmers has taken a dramatic downturn today as both co-ordinators and ordinary protesting farmers have received courier delivered letters from Eversheds solicitors in Leeds, who are acting for Asda. The protests are clearly touching nerve cords and Asda has had enough. The letter admits, "Asda is suffering significant loss." The letter lacks meat and is nothing short of bullyboy tactics. Quite how Asda can contemplate serving injunctions on hundreds of producers is mind boggling but this is their threat including one to seek to recover costs for court proceedings and losses occurred. So how have Eversheds obtained the names and addresses? Since October the police have taken numberplates of protestors but surely have not passed this information on. If what the protestors are doing is unlawful, why have there been no arrests surely everyone has the right to protest? Perhaps the outcome will be that producers will need new protestors or rely on those who have refused to take delivery of the letter. With less than a hundred letters sent and 20,000 plus dairy farmers this should keep Evershed's busy.

So the new world of Dairy UK where producers and processors are to work closer has received a major setback and Asda have upped the stakes. Two weeks ago this newsletter reported FFA's concern that farmers were not coming out to protest. Asda with one letter may have instantly solved FFA's recruitment problem.

If this story has legs, then it seems that something very funny has been going on. Could the police really be involved in something like this? Even with my favourite conspiracy hat (you know the crinkly shiny affair that used to wrap the chicken) on it doesn't seem likely.
But Laurence Robertson the MP for Tewksbury has been asked to find out so no doubt the reality of the story wil limp out sometime after the election.

2004-11-21T22:39:00.000+01:00

Nick Clegg

"Nick stood down at the last European Elections in June 2004 to enable him to dedicate myself fully to his work as the PPC for Sheffield Hallam."
According to this charming fellow's website.

However the clients who pay him better be aware of what he is up to. I mean Sheffeld is sop close to Brussels isn't it Nick?

And how will your collegue Miss Nokia herself react to attack on mobile phone masts?

2004-11-21T21:09:00.000+01:00

Spotted somebody odd in your comment boxes?

Maybe it is one of these?

3.4. Create an “Online dialogue task force”
It would consist of a sufficiently high number of Commission administrators from all DGs in order to cover all community languages and the main EU policy areas. Its tasks would be to actively participate in online discussion fora and chat-rooms which are run by national/regional authorities, political parties, interest groups/associations or as citizens‘ grassroots initiatives. In these fora discussions about European matters sometimes reveal a sobering mixture of factual misinformedness, malcomprehension about the EU’s role and competences and shallow prejudice. Commission officials could participate as experts at the request of the organizers of these fora or on their own initiative as informal participants in these discussions – possibly even clearly identifiable as Commission administrators, which might provoke negative reactions but might also make debates more interesting for other participants. The positive effects of such action would be:
· The quality of information and public discussion could be improved and mis-representations of community policies corrected.
· This way, the citizen would not have to do the first step and visit the Europa server but the Commission would reach the citizen online where he/she already is, namely in those fora, already interested in Europe and engaged in discussion.
· Those citizens could be encouraged to participate in online-debates in other countries and make their voice heard there, thus breaking traditional national barriers and fostering a truly European public.
· Since online citizens are politically speaking generally the most engaged, it is to be expected that they will also function as multipliers in offline debates and will thus ensure that the EU’s online messages will reach out into civil society at large and partly overcome the digital divide.

3.5. Create an electronic equivalent of “Team Europe” to be active in the numerous public online forums, discussion groups and panels which exist in all countries at all levels.
The Online dialogue task force would further ensure an adequate response to participation in online debates organized by the Commission either by direct feedback to participants or by attempts to attract them to register for regular e-mail information sent to them. The task force could even cooperate with a network of European “online campaign supporters“ who are willing and able to communicate Community policies and activities online and also offline in their local environment. This group would act as an online equivalent of Team Europe only with a better structured, more regular and more intensive contact with the Commission and its information resources.

What we are talking about here is a publicly funded group of people hanging around like drunken bookies in chat rooms and web forums, in the comments boxes of leading Euro Bloggers all being paid to push the Commission line. I love the "possibly even clearly identifiable" aspect. Interesting though, maybe the Commission hasn't really noticed the effect of the blogosphere yet, maybe thinking it an entirely American phenomenon.
Team Europe by the way is a group of 630 experts employed by the Commission to spread the word - a sort of PR Praetorian Guard. Team Europe types and no doubt e-Team Europe look all the world like independents but are used at conferences when an independent but pro European voice. Ingenious.

The Co-rapporteur of this Commission document (see post below) himself practiced what he preached. For year Mr John Wyles was working as the Commission's propagandist in chief for the Euro. At the same time he wrote a regular column for a magazine called "Euro-impact". He described himself at this magazine as, "Written by Michael Rolfe, euro-impact's monthly 'Thinking about the euro' columnist on the political context of Economic and Monetary Union and introduction of the euro. This is an abridged version of the full column". Maybe his readers should have known?

For that matter, with this as a precedence, who, today is a Commission official writing EU propaganda under an assumed name?

2004-11-21T19:48:00.000+01:00

1. THE EU MUST BE TAUGHT

A framework of governance that is scarcely understood and fails to engage people is likely to be one built on sand. Here lies an important role for national education systems in fostering a dynamic and evolving European political culture. We have not been able to obtain an overall picture of how extensively the Union’s history, purposes, institutions and development are taught in our different education systems. We have no clear idea what proportion of our citizens is exposed to any formal teaching about the Union. Consultations carried out by the Commission for its White Paper on Youth Policies in Europe uncovered a demand from young people for some kind of education on Europe in schools. They want non-partisan, accurate information, dealing, for instance, with cultural, historical and geographical issues.

Thaought that you might be interested in this prize quote from an EU strategy paper from 2001. The author was an FT hack, turned EU propagandist (responsible for the succesful PRINCE Euro campaign), turned senior thinktanker/lobbyist.

THE EU MUST BE TAUGHT

I wonder what they think counts as "non-partisan"/

As a short aside the name ofthe Committee responsible for this?
"The Working Group for broadening and enriching the public debate
on European matters" I kid you not.

But it gets better,

2. EDUCATION
2.1. Teach in schools the history, development and objectives of the European
Union Europe needs a younger generation with an educated awareness of the Union and the confidence to debate and seek to influence its purposes. Each Member State should
review primary and secondary school curricula to see what extent, if any, the Union has any place. It should then launch a public debate on whether there is a need for change.
The Union could also offer systematic support for training teachers in European affairs.

I have always wondered what the curriculum would contain inthe EU's educational Eutopia. Who would write the history books. The Brits? The Frtench? Nah. The Germans...?

2.2. Work with schools of journalism to ensure that the training of young
journalists includes knowledge of the institutions, their roles and powers and their
policies on information and communications.
The Commission and the Member states should consider funding European modules in
journalism training schools designed to familiarise students and mid-career journalists with European issues and institutions. The Commission could even design its own module and make it available on-line as well as create traineeships inside the institution for journalists. Exchange schemes could also be supported to give trainees experience outside of their home country, although there would clearly be language problems to be overcome.

Oh and be prepared not to believe what you read in the press - oh you already don't.

2004-11-21T18:34:00.000+01:00

Wonder what she was going to say? I guess we will never find out

For that matter IO wonder what she is going to be charged with. OK the Morality police will have her for wearing a beard, being a woman in that part of the mosque.
But I wonder what else they will throw at her?

Thought provoked by the inimitable Mr Tall.

2004-11-21T18:22:00.000+01:00

Too much, too little too late

The European Military /industrial complex is getting bigger and bigger. At last HMG is noticing. But waiting a month to comment looks a little too much like they just want to make a carboard fuss.
The British Army lorry contreact that has gone to Mann is far more serious. - Though the new Thalers Eades outfit will, of course eat BAE for breakfast.

2004-11-18T18:59:00.000+01:00

More good news for Monarchists

According to this Economist survey, the country that has the best quality of life is Ireland. It's a republic I hear you cry. Yes, yes, I know that, but look a bit closer at the graph.

According to the respected organ these are the best ten countries in which to live

1 Ireland
2 Switzerland
3 Norway
4 Luxembourg
5 Sweden
6 Australia
7 Iceland
8 Italy
9 Denmark
10 Spain

That'll be 6 monarchies in the top ten, and happily all with different monarchs. God bless you Sirs and Ma'ams every one.

2004-11-18T11:37:00.000+01:00

Lord help us

This headline on EU Observer fills me with dread and foreboding.
Spain to advise Poland how to spend EU money

Brothel is built with EU cash
A COUPLE have been arrested after about £36,000 of European Union aid was used to build a brothel in Chirivel, near Almeira, southern Spain.

The regional development subsidy had originally been earmarked for the construction of a riding school. The local authority gave its approval - only to discover later that the owners, a 44-year-old woman and her 50-year-old husband, had built a brothel instead. Police were called in.

2004-11-18T11:14:00.000+01:00

MacShame again
As regular readers know, I have a thing about our dreadful Minister for Europe. But Somehow I missed this prize piece of balls that he wrote in September for the Guardian. However now that it has come to my attention, well I thought you should all see the lies and shadow boxing this dreadful little man goes in for.

“At a conference in Italy I share a platform with various social democratic luminaries and with Vaclav Klaus, the president of the Czech Republic; Wolfgang Schüssel, the chancellor of Austria; and José María Aznar, the former Spanish prime minister. All are key players in the new European right”.

So far so uncontentious

“None have any interest in the rabid anti-Europeanism of today's Tories. It is not that they are uncritical supporters of Brussels - far from it. In a true sense they are all Eurosceptics - applying sceptical reason to what Europe does or does not do, should or should not do.”

Eh?Is that the same Vaclav Klaus who said this,
"The enemies of free societies today are those who want to burden us down again with layer upon layer of regulations. We had that in communist times. But now if you look at all the new rules and regulations of EU membership, layered bureaucracy is staging a comeback.",
and this
"you cannot have democratic accountability in anything bigger than a nation state."
and this
“Let us move to Europe of economic freedom, to Europe of small and non-expanding government, to Europe without state paternalism, to Europe without pseudomoralizing political correctness, to Europe without intellectual snobbism and elitism, to Europe without supranational, all-continental ambitions”?

Nah can’t have been that one, must have been a different bloke, or of course you might be lying for effect Denis.
There again I would hardly describe Schüssel as Right, or even Centre-right, more, to borrow a nautical expression, Centre by centre right. Azanar is a sort of NuLabour style right winger – Atlanticist but centrist.

“But none of them are proposing to pass national laws - as Michael Howard says he will do over fishing - which would be in breach in the treaties and, if serious, mean the UK quitting the EU. Are there are any Conservatives of the new generation who will speak up against the new isolationism promoted by the Conservatives?”

Oh this is priceless Denis. Are you seriously suggesting that because Austria and the Czech Republic are not calling for repatriation of their traditional fishing grounds then they have no similarity to Howard’s Tories. Oh yes, and Spain, a country that does better than any by raping the seas around the British Isles, including the Irish Box. Be serious.

And hasn’t a whole tranche of your own front bench tried to suggest that they would like to repatriate Regional funding. That’s right Denis, that’ll be your chums Gordon Brown, Patricia Hewitt and John Prescott. Gordon himself must have gone along with somnethingwriotten by his own department. But what is this we find?
Oh his boss has approved and signed the European Constitution which includes these words,

"The Union shall also support the achievement of these objectives by the action it takes through the Structural Funds (European Agricultural Guidance and Guarantee Fund, Guidance Section; European Social Fund; European Regional Development Fund), the European Investment Bank and the other existing financial instruments."

What do you reckon, wrest our waters from EU control, impossible, but wresting regional funds from Greece, Spain Portugal and the entire collection of enlargement countries, easy?. Come off it.

2004-11-18T10:55:00.000+01:00

Disk frenzy
This morning as I walked home form our new house I noticed that almost every roof along it and its neighbouring streets has at least our local grocer - a friendly Turk who knows me as “Eengleesh”, why that is? “After all”, I mentioned, “local cable is excellent”.
“You cannot get Al-Jazeera on cable”, was his reply.

2004-11-18T10:47:00.000+01:00

The Doors, the Doors
Yesterday, whilst in a meeting of great importance I received a phone call from my darkling wife (darkling due the amount of dark blue hair). In a voice of near asphyxiated excitement she stammered something along the lines of this,

“I have bought some doors – I hope you like them, They are over three and a half meters – I think they will fit, but the hole will have to get bigger”.

3 1/2 meters! That’s almost 11 and half feet!! – And no she couldn’t fit them in the car.

2004-11-18T10:30:00.000+01:00

The Propaganda War hots up

According to AFP (Sorry no link) the French Government will spend €62million on its EU Constitution referendum. Given that is over estimate by about €40 million it is believed that the extra will be spent on propaganda. This money is to be used to push a four page leaflet sent to every household, a “user-guide” on the Constitution sent to thousands of opinion formers, a new website with information about the Constitution, and a series of information broadcasts about the Constitution. The campaign will be paid for by tax-payers and the information will be written by Government civil servants.
This differs significantly from the 1992 Maastricht campaign, when the government commissioned people from both sides of the argument to write a 20 page document, double ended, one Yes and one No, which was put through everybody’s letter box. No doubt the Government has decided that that vote was too close for comfort and

Meanwhile, the British Government affirmed a commitment to send a full copy of the Constitution to every household, but has gone quiet on this pledge more recently. However Denis MacShame, the Miniature for Europe also committed the Government to spending “serious money” promoting the EU Constitution (Independent, 31 May 2004 – sub only) and the Foreign Office recently produced 200,000 “information” pamphlets making the case for supporting the Constitution. This week also saw Britain in Europe, which last year received £2m from Government Minister Lord Sainsbury, complain that they were not managing to raise funds in the current climate.
So the question must be asked of poor little BiE – What the hell did they do with the 2 million – spend it on caviar and ivory spoons - fricasseed lotus blossom?

Update,
This year they claim only to have received £650,000 – poor mites

2004-11-16T18:19:00.000+01:00

Not that Charles Kennedy surely?

Kennedy welcomes moves to improve cemetery safety
Charles Kennedy, councillor for Milton of Campsie, had asked the council to take action after a number of mourners alerted him to dangerous ground conditions at the cemetery.
These problems had surfaced in the cemetery extension and had caused many mourners great difficulty when trying to keep their footing - especially in slippery conditions.

2004-11-16T18:04:00.000+01:00

Democracy - Piffle
This news came out last Friday. I like everybody else I know missed it (Ok not everybody - thanks for pointing it out Mike).
The Parliament has been banging on for years about its ability to force the Commissioners to be individually accountable. Indeed it was this attitude that fed the frenzy surrounding the defenestration of Rocco Butiglione. However what is shocking is that when it came to an ex-communist the parliaments own governing body, the Conference of Presidents, decided that the Committee that would be questioning would be unabler to vote about his suitability to be taxation Commissioner.

Thus this undermines any suggestion that the sacking of Rocco was anything other than an anti-Berlusconi/catholic measure. After all it was the refusal of the Committee questioners to support Burtiglioni, Udre and Kroes and Kovacs in their hearings that precipitated the crisi. This time the political leadership has decided that the MEPs should not have a second (right wing) bite of that particular cherry.

The hearings took place today, no votes were allowed and the new Commission will be confirmed later this week, shorn of an honest right wing philosopher.

2004-11-16T17:58:00.000+01:00

Regionalisation

Interesting discussion with a political veteran of the European parliament - (1975-2004) about the impact of the North East Referendum. His comments went something like this.
'Devastating blow, bad news for the regions, make that bad news for all of England. The thing is the EU is designing itself around funding through regional systems. It will be unable to fund through national govrnments which means that England will miss out on increasingly large anmounts of funding'.
So the UK will continue to send cash to Brussels, where it is so well audited and then it will send out money back to Scotland, Ulster and Wales as the have 'Regional' governments, but England will miss out.

2004-11-15T12:19:00.000+01:00

We don't need no standards - We have standards

The Conservative Party has pledged to scrap the controversial Standards Board if it wins the next General Election.

This is excellent news. It is this bloody stupid organistaion that is the cause of local councillors being unable to accept dinner at friends homes or, as beautifully illustrated by Chris Booker a few weeks ago, bans them from discussing phone masts if they own a mobile phone.

It is only one small layer of burearocracy - costing us a mere £9 million - but it is start.

2004-11-15T11:01:00.000+01:00

Cheese Measuring Surrender Scales?

The Bunny takes issue with a possible metric martyr, will the scale of the hammering be too much?

2004-11-14T14:27:00.000+01:00

So where would you put them?

The leader in the Observer today "Inquiry must root out prison racists", seems to see a target, take aim, and then fire in the opposite direction.
The sad death of Zahid Mubarek, murdered by his cell mate Robert Stewart a known racist has been gone over a number of times. First at the time of his killing, then at the trial of Stewart, convicted and given a life sentence.
But the really guilty ones are the prison officers. No they are not, the really guilty man is serving life.
And though the Observer would like to tar every prison officer with the same institutionally racist brush with which it tars the coppers it has no suggestions to make at all.
Root them out. The officers that is, not the racist murderers. Where do you send convicted racists murderers - prison. Where they will; no doubt meet racist murderers of all races.
Now what, segregated prisons?

2004-11-14T13:30:00.000+01:00

Quote of the Day

Tim Luckhurst in the Observer
"New layers of government do not make for better government and a politician of average intelligence need only spend a week in Scotland to understand it. Perhaps John Prescott would need a month. "

2004-11-12T08:58:00.000+01:00

I was skiving for a moment and I saw this
The horror, the fear, lord save us.

2004-11-11T15:14:00.000+01:00

Wait for us

Gloriously silly moment as I wandered towards the European parliament today. Brussels is dead, it is the national holiday of remembrance, but, the EU being the EIU the institutions continue working. For to have a day off today would be seen as an insult to the Germans.
Anyway as I crossed Rue Belliard next to the Parliament I noted a small demonstration. A phalanx of block red and block blue flags were being carried to the accompaniment of a military band (the band cunning concealed with a small Citroen).
The demo was a civil service affair of about 50 people, complaining about the Bolkestein Directive. However the funny aspect of the affair was the sight of about ten types hurtling down the road to catch up with the demonstrators. This lot, fat and scant of breath carried their own flags – “The Green EFA Group in the European Parliament”. It became apparent that they were bored and looking out of their windows when they spotted the demo. Well what are Greens for other than marching pointlessly so out they dashed with their suspiciously newly minted demo flags.
A shower. I asked one of them what the demo was about and his answer
“Workers rights” I suppose could be accurate, but when pressed he got agitated and refused to answer.
Maybe he objected to the poppy I was wearing, or maybe he hadn’t a clue.

2004-11-10T21:41:00.000+01:00

Today I invite the Belgian authorities to arrest me

According to the decision by the Court of Cassation yesterday,

"By ‘belonging to’ a group or society is meant that the culprit [...] is a part of the group or society [...]. It is not necessary for him to have conducted any activities within the group or society. Similarly, ‘cooperating,’ by which is meant any form of support for the functioning of the group or society, does not imply the execution of criminal acts. The punishability of ‘belonging to’ and ‘cooperating’ follows from the mere knowledge that the group or society, to which one belongs or with which one cooperates, [...] commits discrimination."

In the past in my journalism and through my magazine I have “co-operated” with the Vlaams Blok. By “co-operation” I mean that I attacked the initial verdict of the Ghent Court as a politically motivated attack on democracy.
What is more I take this opportunity to do so again, and thus compound my crime. Belgium is no longer fit to be regarded as a democracy, nor is it fit to be regarded as a liberal tolerant society. By acting in this way it merely hastens the day when it will collapse.
If observers have been watching over the past few years this is no real surprise, the arrst and detention of journalists and the sequestering of their sources (not just Tillack). The disgraceful activities of the state over the Brabant killings, the Dutroux case and the Ballet Rose.

2004-11-10T19:03:00.000+01:00

Coalition of the willing

This is extra ordinary, British troops are on standby to help the French in the Ivory Coast!
Eh, why?

Prime Minister Tony Blair's official spokesman said: "There are British nationals in Ivory Coast and as you can imagine we are making the usual contingency plans in case the situation deteriorates further, but that's all I can say at this stage."

Oh thats it, we cannot trust the French to be able to sort out their own problems. But what will Chirac have to say about this after all he cannot allow British troops into a French sphere of influence.

Ho ho ho heh

2004-11-10T18:52:00.000+01:00

Could you guess which news service came up with this?

As the Netherlands mourned film-maker Theo van Gogh – allegedly killed by an Islamic militant – Dutch people told Andy Clark of Radio Netherlands how they felt about his death and the country's heightened ethnic tensions.

Go to the section "Dutch views..."

2004-11-10T13:55:00.000+01:00

In Belgium you are criminalised, in Holland murdered

It appears that one of the documents used to criminalise the Vlams Blok was,
"One of the tracts, denouncing female circumcision in Islamic countries, was written by a Turkish-born woman member of the Vlaams Blok but the court ruled that the arguments were intended to foment anti-Muslim feeling".

Hey Marrianne, watch out or you might be considered a Blokker.

Small aside, it seems that they will be renaming themselves Vlaams Belang, anybody got any betterideas - I considered Vlaams Black.

2004-11-08T21:45:00.000+01:00

Melancholic thoughts.

Today I contemplated heresy. Today I thought, nay daydreamed about renouncing British nationality. I am serious; it was that bad.
But as I pondered the truly vile reporting that has gone on about both the American elections and the murder of the Dutch filmmaker I stumbled upon a problem.
As a proud Brit, nay Englishman, could I possibly take US citizenship yet still hold that my loyal oath to HMQ? I really don’t know. Must I renounce my loyalty to the Queen to take US nationality? Could I cheat?
So much of what I admire about the US is stuff derived from our common ancestors. But it seems to me that the stuffing was knocked out of my country and my countrymen. Today I look around and it make me weep.
Britain – I cannot bring myself to call it Great Britain any longer, is governed by a bunch of malicious moral dwarves. People who despise that which they cannot understand and thus almost everything of worth and beauty in my, and their country.

I am sure I will get over this but try reading a newspaper…

2004-11-08T21:17:00.000+01:00

The Evil at the heart of liberal tolerance.

Those of us who believe in freedom and responsibility often feel a certain respect for organisations such as Amnesty and The Index on Censorship. Admittedly when we get close we often have told hold our noses but generally they are, as Sellar and Yeatman would say “Good things”.
No longer. Index on Censorship has forfeited the right to be regarded as anything other than self hating, and twisted in its response to the brutal assassination of Dutch controversialist Theo van Gogh.
In an article titled “Free speech fundamentalist on a martyrdom operation” Rohan Jayasekera, the Associate Editor of Index on Censorship blames the filmmaker for his own death. With a moral compass spinning as wildly as a real one in the Bermuda Triangle Jayasekera plumbs depths normally reserved for Guardian columnists.
As the chapeaux puts it ,

“If maverick Dutch journalist and moviemaker Theo van Gogh was a fundamentalist believer in the right to free expression, his 2 November murder may have been his very own 'martyrdom operation'. Rohan Jayasekera comments on the disturbing legacy of a man who believed in free speech, whatever the consequences”.

First Van Gogh’s links to the great impressionist are flagged up “descendant of the mad genius Dutch painter”. Ah you see descendant of madness, well its obvious the fellow was mad as well innit? But they key to this disgraceful argument is a Dutch word and concept “Gedogen, another. It means tolerance, but something else as well - like a kind of polite endurance of something unpleasant”. In fact I couldn’t think of a better explanation of the word tolerant. What Jayasekera doesn’t seem to understand is that it is impossible to tolerate something you agree with. For somebody to act with tolerance, then that person has to start from a position of at the very least disliking the thing tolerated. Otherwise what we are talking about is approval, which is another thing altogether. Approval, Jayasekera’s default position is easy, tolerance is very difficult, and something admirable.
There are a number of instances of official; Dutch racism cited then an extraordinary statement

“Van Gogh's juvenile shock-horror art finally led him to build an exploitative working relationship with Somalia-born Dutch MP Ayann Hirsi Ali, whose terrible personal experience of abuse has driven her to a traumatizing loss of her Muslim faith. “

I wonder if this peon of liberalism (tm George’s Galloway and Monbiot) ever spoke to the MP in question? From what I understand she is not the sort of person to be “exploited” by anybody. Except maybe western liberals who wish to pigeon hole her as some victim. Between them the filmmaker and the politician made a film that posed stark questions of the no-doubt culturally valuable practice of female circumcision, and did it in a way that brooked no argument. What is more they did it in a way that was calculated to upset the mainstay of Muslim opinion, in much the same way that much modern art is calculated to upset Christian opinion. But this according to Index on Censorship is “An abuse of his right to free speech”.
And his punishment for this abuse

“A sensational climax to a lifetime's public performance, stabbed and shot by a bearded fundamentalist, a message from the killer pinned by a dagger to his chest, Theo van Gogh became a martyr to free expression. His passing was marked by a magnificent barrage of noise as Amsterdam hit the streets to celebrate him in the way the man himself would have truly appreciated.
And what timing! Just as his long-awaited biographical film of Pim Fortuyn's life is ready to screen. Bravo, Theo! Bravo! “

This is disgusting. I am not sure if this body is publicly funded, but if it is then some questions have to asked.

2004-11-08T11:36:00.000+01:00

Jon sings the praise of booze
And I hope that all will join in a resounding chorus,

"Now the faith is old and the Devil bold
Exceedingly bold indeed.
And the masses of doubt that are floating about
Would smother a mortal creed.
But we that sit in a sturdy youth
And still can drink strong ale
Let us put it away to infallible truth
That always shall prevail.

And thank the Lord
For the temporal sword
And howling heretics too.
And all good things
Our Christendom brings
But especially barley brew!
With my row-ti-tow
Ti-oodly-ow
Especially barley brew!"

In a splendid blast of the Trumpet against the pettyfogging moralists of the New Puritan party that governs us he points out the historic antecedents to that hangover you are now nursing,

"Alcohol has been one of the common factors in the development of modern life. As far back as archaeologists go, they find evidence of hooch. Hell, man may even be a Johnny Come Lately here. Not only will several higher mammals make special efforts to drink booze when it's available, but even in the wild several primates will go out of their way to obtain those types of fruits which are prone to fermentation. What we do know for certain is that booze has been our loyal companion through the long march of human civilisation [if only there was a large group of people who didn't drink, we could see if their civilisation really was as rich and civilised as the prohibs say it must be]".

Read the whole thing

2004-11-08T10:37:00.000+01:00

Sorry about the hiatus.

For some unknown reason I had to go to Curacao and discuss asphalt lakes – as you do.
I can tell you now that they are big black and smelly. What is more they don’t move very fast. What this meant is that I was generally off line – generally reliant on US TV and thus watched the US elections in the same way that most Americans did. And bloody hell I did not really understand quite what people meant by the liberal media bias until I spent three days watching the channels first bang the drum, then hold a candle then commiserate with Monsieur Kerry. My favourite moment was a half hour programme on CNN on election morning in which the reporter wandered around Iraq and could not find a single person who had a single positive thing to say about the Americans, almost all Iraq’s that expressed a preference said that their cats preferred Kerry. Oh really.

Oh and despite being the Caribbean, it rained all day every day. Not that I expect sympathy.

2004-10-30T20:11:00.000+02:00

Kinnock 'will help reform Lords'

So he will sit in glorious isolation, harrass anybody who reveals his incompetance and threaten to sue any journalist who questions his wonderfulness. I think their Lordships have the measure ofthe unpleasant toad. (That being said all his staff do speak highly of him as a direct boss).
However true to form on announcing his enoblement he immediately kicked of with an illiberal approach.

"he told BBC Wales the Lords themselves would have to vote for change.
Mr Kinnock, who has been less than enthusiastic about the upper chamber in the past, said: "I've had reservations about the House of Lords.
"The point was put to me very strongly that if we are to secure change, because there is a process of reform underway, then it's going to need people to vote for that change."

Please note that, they will hacve to vote for change, or else what Neil? You going to talk them to death?

2004-10-29T20:49:00.000+02:00

All I want is Trevor Philips head

Shockingly the police have finally discovered some balls. I applaud them. This man is a menace to good race relations and should be shipped back to his homeland of Islington as soon as is possible.

2004-10-29T20:42:00.000+02:00

What is brown, smells a bit and is dishonest?

Russell Kennedy who resides at an address that is near perfect in its suburban marvellousness, viz: Lupin Drive, Springfield, Chelmsford, Essex, is so far up Tony’s backside that with a casual glance you would hardly spot his heels. And they would of course be the most apt part of his anatomy.
His crime, a minor one I suppose but one, that in my eyes at least stinks of the casual dishonesty of the congregation of crooks who govern us.

He has written a letter to the Wells journal in which he states such stuff as
“Since 1997, unemployment is down 40 per cent in the Wells constituency, and the New Deal (welfare reform, opposed by the Liberal Democrats and the Tories) has helped almost 1,000 into work, while the minmum wage, also voted against by Lib Dems and Tories alike in Parliament, has increased the wages of many in the workforce.”

This is followed by,
“Equally, the Labour government's reform of tax credits and childcare investment in the constituency she wishes to represent are dismissed as "complex", rather than recognising the 7,500 alone who benefit from child tax credits, and the thousands now able to access increased childcare facilities.However, in stating that NHS targets are "meaningless", she not only ignores the reality in the Wells constituency of falling waiting lists (though hardly meaningless to those who have benefited most from that government target, ie patients), she completely fails to even acknowledge the visible increases in NHS investment on her intended new "doorstep".
or in other words equally mendacious drivel.

Ok so the poor misguided fool supports the government.Ah, but here is the rub, he forgets to mention that he is a Labour candidate and former Labour councillor. Hope he gets a better seat next time than West Chelmsford.

And yes I am a former Tory candidate

2004-10-28T18:55:00.000+02:00

Time to dust off the Lee Enfield -
According to the blind Torquemada, "I will now bring forward legislation to bring in a compulsory, national ID card scheme".
Bizzarely his Tyrranic Highness plans to introduce the ID card alonng side the passport.
"A single, universal ID card for all UK nationals, to be issued alongside passports".
Now given that we all (even my 11 month old child) have to hold a passport, and they want the passport to have three, yes three biometric identifiers (as approved by our EU masters last week, then why the need for an ID card at all?

2004-10-28T17:52:00.001+02:00

Hypocrites

The award today of the European Parliament's Sakharov Prize to the Belarusian Association of Journalists is glorious. Now I have no real idea of the strictures that the poorr Belarussian journalists finds themselves, and I suspect it is pretty grim.
However for the MEPs to bang on about journlaists freedom nis astonishingly rich given the treatment emted out to Hans-Martin Tillack. Particularly when he was verbally abused in the Paarliament by MEPs who congratulated Commission so called fraud busters OLAF and the Belgian poloice for arresting him and confiscating his files. His crime, as I am sure you are aware ws to report on the corruption within the EU.
Get the beam out of your own eyes.

Update, I missed this fine headline

Belarus parliament is not democratic, say MEPs

2004-10-28T16:29:00.000+02:00

Nelson in Blair's Britain...
It's almost 200 years since Lord Nelson's famous naval victory overThe French and Spanish in the Battle of Trafalgar. To kick-start the Anniversary celebrations, an actor dressed as Nelson posed for pictures on the River Thames at Greenwich. But before he was allowed to board an RNLI Lifeboat, safety officials made him wear a lifejacket over his 19th century admiral's uniform.

How Nelson would have fared if he had been subject to modern health and safety regulations.

You are now on the deck of the recently renamed British Flagship, HMS Appeasement.
"Order the signal, Hardy."
"Aye, aye sir."
"Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's the meaning of this?"
"Sorry sir?"
"England expects every person to do his duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability. What gobbledegook is this?"
"Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
"Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
"Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-free working environments."
"In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."
"The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It's part of theGovernment's policy on binge drinking."
"Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it. Full speed ahead."
"I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."
"Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest, please."
"That won't be possible, sir."
"What?"
"Health and safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't letanyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."
"Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
"He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral."
"Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
"Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
"Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."
"Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
"Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
"A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without crash helmets. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
"I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the mento stand by to engage the enemy."
"The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
"What? This is mutiny."
"It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
"Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
"Actually, sir, we're not."
"We're not?"
"No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
"But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
"I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you sayingthat sir. You'll be up on disciplinary."
"You must consider every man an enemy who speaks ill of your King."
"Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age.Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules."
"Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"
"As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu. And there's a ban on corporal punishment."
"What about sodomy?"
"I believe it's to be encouraged, sir."
"In that case ... kiss me, Hardy."

Hat tip - my sibling in Pompey

2004-10-28T13:01:00.000+02:00

Measuring the Emotional Economy of Europe

Eh? Not quite sure if unmderrsdtand what is gouing on here. But this is seriously a conferance organised by Gallup the pollsters in the charmingly titled Château de la Solitude.

Now for you all to pass the test I would like you to come up with a strategy to do just that?

2004-10-28T11:53:00.000+02:00

Bushnegro

I have just received this email from the political Secretary of an Embassy to the EU. Emphasis all mine

Hope that you are fine. I am not bad myself.
I think the meeting went good yesterday and i am of the opinion that Mr. XXXXX can be of great benefit to us.
Something different i need your help with.
Some organization called DG 21 will oganise some voodoo festival in Afrika. Because of the fact that we have bushnegro´s in XXX they would very much like to participate.
Can you find out 4 me what kind of organisation it is, or maybe a website or emailaddress?
Thanking you in advance for your cooperation.
Be good

However after a certain amount of research I discover that the term “Bushnegro” is in fact perfectly legit, and is the local name for Maroon. The Maroons were escaped slaves who organised themselves into civil society. The remnants of Maroon or Bushnegros talk a variety of languages today, but primarily a form of English based Creole with a significant proportion of west African words and structure. A perfect example of this is the name given to the tribal chief, who is called the ‘Granman’. From the message I received it seems that they also practice voodoo.

Oh and has anybody any idea about who this group DG21 are?

2004-10-24T21:18:00.000+02:00

When did football become an arm of Government?

Richard Caborne the inmfamously incompetant and unsporting fellow the government employs to bugger up the free action of sports has now decided to nationalalise the Football Associaton.
Does this heavy handed bunch of no-nothing meddlers have nothing better to do? Or will they not be satisfied until every last dot and speck of our public private and internbal lives are governed regulated and otherwise interferred with?
Don't answer that.
Just look at the redcord of Caborn
Attempting to order a private organisation to pay vast sums of money to a former Labour donor.
Jumping on the Amir Khan bandwagon and threatening the English Amateur Boxing Association thus "The English Amateur Boxing Association need to look at themselves and ask if they are fit for the purpose."

2004-10-22T20:14:00.000+02:00

Sign me up forthe oboe!

According to the Guardian and the today programme this morning
"Schools are doing a thriving trade in violin, flute, guitar and recorder lessons, but they are too often dominated by middle-class girls".
It's not often, oh fiddlesticks it is almopst daily, that I find myself staring slack jawed at the radio in the morning.

What I didn't fully understand was what the problem with this was. It was the complaint that some instruments were male dominated and some female. And?
"I am sorry Sharon, but the female quota for the flute is taken, you have to learn French Horn". Somebody please explain what earthly good the report will do. Reports by their nature make reccomendations. And recomendations are, for some unknown reason taken seriously. In this case I can see gender mainstreaming and horizontal objectives surrounding the fat boy with the triangle.

2004-10-22T19:24:00.000+02:00

The eBay Song

Thanks to the Porn Publisher for this rather fine ditty.

2004-10-21T19:59:00.000+02:00

A quote for today
“Rights are things that cannot be taken away from you, such as your right to be indignant. Privacy however, privacy is a privilege that has to be earned”
Annie Jackson-Camden in the soap opera 7th Heaven

2004-10-19T17:30:00.000+02:00

Nanny is off her rocker
Libby Purves in today’s Times is very good, so good that I have had to circumvent the firewall and reproduce the more metaphorical parts.

IF THE Government were a nanny, as some maintain, she would be a confusing
old boot. She scolds you to eat your fruit and veg, berates you for getting tubby and enjoins exercise; but she prefers this to be in expensive leisure centres rather than out on the rough old football field that she sold to the developer. She rails against binge drinking yet has friendly arrangements with chain pubs. She is cosy with her European friends, but doesn¹t care whether you learn French or not. She abhors smoking and private cars, but stretches a point for her motor racing friend, Bernie.

You're never quite sure how Nanny wants you to treat your pets. She gets furious if you let dogs chase foxes across the countryside, but seems unconcerned about the squalid treatment of intensively farmed animals. She is in some ways very modern, implacably opposed to smacking and always willing to listen to grievances about people being mean to you and threatening your ‘self-esteem’. Yet she runs some grim prisons, and starts wars with insouciance. She flirts enthusiastically with khaki (Nanny is marrying one of the guard, a soldier¹s life is terribly hard) but her military boyfriend seems to be losing patience because he does all her dirty work for very little payback.As for pocket money, you can’t work out what Nanny wants at all. She
nags you to save for a rainy day, then raids your piggy-bank. She urges responsibility and tells you to work until you’re 70, but then you wake up one morning and find that she has installed a high-prize fruit machine in the nursery, and with a leer and a wink she encourages you to play for high stakes. When you have duly emptied your piggy-bank, through the nursery door you spot a seedy-looking man with his hat on the back of his head counting out grubby fivers into Nanny's outstretched hand. Noticing your wide little eyes, she taps her nose and growls: ‘Inner-city regeneration. Culture, see? Go to bed.’
...
The jar on the mantelpiece containing her own pension savings grows ever heavier. But before you can say anything, Nanny is on her high horse, scolding you for
financial improvidence. There is an old-fashioned Darwinian conservative argument that you can’t legislate for virtue; that few private vices need regulation; that life is a jungle; and that citizens should be allowed to wreck themselves freely on drink, drugs, weird sex, stupidity, diving off bridges on faulty bungees, eating monster cheeseburgers or gambling away the children's tea. ‘Serve them right for being so damn stupid,’ says the laissez-faire tendency. It is at least a coherent philosophy.
But it isn’t Nanny's usual line, and it isn’t what we hired her for in 1997. And the really worrying thing is that she only favours the hell-in-a-handcart option when there’s money in it for her. Tuck a fiver down that starched pinny, and she’s anybody’s.

2004-10-18T21:22:00.000+02:00

U cn fuK nw

Splendid post by Cruella on the latest money wasting wheeze from those charletans who run the British health service. I wonder of their £30 billion computer system will co-ordinte the whole effect, or will it start sending lewd messages to people with hearet pills. The whole thing doesn't even bear thinking about.

Bleeee blip bleep.
Aha I have a message.

2004-10-18T19:07:00.000+02:00

Nemo me impune lacessit – or what are you calling “institutional cowardice”?

I always remember this as nobody takes the piss without getting it. Or at least that was the unofficial ‘jock’ translation kindly provided to me by the Sarn’t Major.
That’ll be those inconsequential types at Radio 4’s Pm programme who will be getting it from the combined might (and hopefully dirks) of her Majesty’s 42nd and 73rd Regiment of foot, otherwise known as the Black Watch. First they baffle on about the hard time that the hopeless Hoon was having in the House. Fair dos, but it is noticeable that they only quoted those wannabe Stalinists on the back-benches who would be against the pure driven snow if it could be proved to have come from the other side of the Atlantic. Next they went to the Regiment itself out in the sands with their “embed”. Didn’t catch his name, but the studio numpty did make it clear that their chappy had ‘unimpeded’ access to the jocks.
And what did they have to say?
Precisely what you would expect them to say. “We are a reserve battalion, an ally wants us to move forward to fill in whilst they fight a battle, where is the problem with that?"
Then there was a mention that some un-named Americans were describing Britain’s leadership, both political and military as suffering from what the Beeb described as “institutional cowardice”.
It was in response to these playground taunts, the suggestion seemed to say that Britain was going to, err.. “ratchet up” our activities in Iraq.
Was that it?
‘Course not. After all, nobody associated with the regiment was prepared to say, or no doubt think, anything other than, give us a job and we will do it, what’ s more we will enjoy it’.
So the Beeb then moved to Perth, home to the 73rd. Here they vox-popped away and spoke to some shoppers who were “concerned”, and then went to the old and bold club, where they had specially turned on the radios for the old dears. Here they patronised a few old soldiers and , one of whom uttered the required word “quagmire”. At that we were back to the studio.

Where the prize chump announced that members of the Black Watch feared a quagmire.
Balls. An old man who had been fed his lines in a pensioners club, feared a quagmire. After claiming that Bush had succeeded where Johnson had failed and got the Black Watch to do his dirty work.
The leading of witness and the disgraceful attempt to get somebody associated with the regiment to attack the government is, I guess just typical, but… It really pissed me off.

2004-10-14T19:35:00.000+02:00

This farce will cost lives - even more lives

Abdullahi Yusuf has just been declared the Somali President. With winning understatyement the problems he faces are described by the BBC hackette,
"he is not hugely popular in Mogadishu but he is expected to try to overcome this by naming some of the faction leaders from the capital in his new cabinet".
That sounds like a great idea. These people have killed more than those on charges in the Hague. Sounds like the people of Mogadishu will be besides themselves. But she goes on,
"On Wednesday, a rally in support of Mr Abdullahi was cancelled in Mogadishu after threats from gunmen".

Of course the real problem is what to do with Somaliland. The independant former British protectorate has no wish to be run from Mogadishu, and will fight to stay independant. They manged to win Independance 13 years ago when they had no army. today they have a fully trained army of over 100,000.
"The people of Somaliland and its government are ready to confront any enemy that tries to violate its borders and territory with force," Information Minister Abdillahi Mohamed Du'ale said in a statement.

Though thery were invited to the talks they were told they must give up independance as a pre-requisite. So they refuse to recognise its authority. There will be war unless something is sorted out.

2004-10-14T18:37:00.000+02:00

Bigley murderers' 'funds' frozen

I am stunned by this news.
"Chancellor Gordon Brown told the Bank of England to give the order to all financial institutions on Thursday".

Is Gordon seriously telling us that until this week this group - who have been at war with the UK now for well over a year have been able to trade in the UK, raise funds in the UK and operate in the UK. What the devil have the goivernment, MI5, MI6, the antio-terrorist sqsquad and the rest of them been up to?

These murderers name themselves "Tawhid and Jihad". Surely it would be simpler if all organisations with the word Jihad in their title be declared illegal unless they an prove no links to any terrorist organisation. It is not as if they are hiding their bloody, and I use the word advisedly, their bloody affiliations.

2004-10-14T13:54:00.000+02:00

I didn't get the job
And the rejection email contained this priceless decription of my talents.

The evaluators commented your test as follows: "Repetitions throughout - not specific enough - only part of the message is being transmitted"; Boring to read. Unclear message."

2004-10-11T19:04:00.000+02:00

Keith Ross Miller 1919-2004

Norm obiturises the late great Miller. In it he includes one of the greatest put downs to the hardships of international sport,

Miller had the perfect answer when asked if he ever felt under pressure on the cricket field.

"Pressure, I'll tell you what pressure is," he said.

"Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse, playing cricket is not," he said in reference to his combat experience.

No tell me that Beckham needed to behave like that?

2004-10-08T20:27:00.000+02:00

“Collegiality with leadership and vision”

In this month’s Sprout, the banality of thinking at the heart of the project is beautifully speared. Reporting on the new Commissioners joint and singular appearance before the assembled Brussels press pack for the first time.

“Had the Commissioners all read the same ‘Bluffers guide to motivational
management mottos’ before they entered the room? “Realism with enthusiasm” was one exciting logo to do the rounds. “Leadership with a fighting spirit,” added
another pumped up new Commissioner. “We need collegiality with leadership and
vision,” piped up another.Barroso’s Commission will be a “dynamic coalition
seeking dynamic consensus” agreed the new EU team with a shout of joy and a
cartwheel. And finally the good news: “we need a positive agenda for Europe" said
one energetic new kid. Really?! Well that makes a change.”

Do yourself a favour and get a copy. (And yes I have resigned and am no longer the co-editor)

2004-10-08T18:24:00.000+02:00

Busted! come out of the closet
Teen rockers Busted! have told the world that they are Tories,

"the more obvious Tory boy of the three, Charlie Simpson, said: “I don’t really like talking about politics but I’ve always grown up with their views - the Tories’ way of doing things. I just prefer it.”

Bandmate Matt Jay revealed he voted for the Liberal Democrats in a recent local election but will be switching sides come the General Election. “Yeah, actually, you know what, I am not going to be ripped off any more. From the financial position I am in now, I am a fucking Tory boy too.”

What I love is that the uinterview was in Tatler.

2004-10-07T18:10:00.000+02:00

Don't tell the Sponsors

Yesterday Arsene Wenger rocked up to Brussels to blather on about Sport and the Future of Europe at the Committee of the Regions.
At a drink before the talk a friend pointed out that he had turned up bang on time.
"Yes I came British Airways"
"What, not using Emirates"

"Not yet"

Well Emirates only gave the club £100 million on Tuesday

2004-10-07T17:54:00.000+02:00

Thrills and spills to share

I think I have spotted an example of the problem with modern day conservatism.

Ok, not the problem, but one of the myriad problems swirling round its noble but ragged head. A slight sense of the absurd seems to have left them if this missive sent out from the Carlton club is anything to go by,

The Carlton Club Political Committee are planning a very exciting seminar on the subject of Pensions: Proposals for Funding Retirement to take place at the Club on Monday 22nd November next.

Very exciting I am sure,

The Seminar will be chaired by the Director of Politeia, Dr Sheila Lawlor,and the principal speaker will be David Willetts MP, Shadow Secretary ofState for Work and Pensions, as a preliminary to the publication of his pamphlet on the subject of pensions.

I am, as it were, frothing with anticipation.

2004-10-06T19:17:00.000+02:00

Bet they talk about beer birds and footy like everybody else

"The talk in Prague, Bratislava, Warsaw and Tallinn is of the power of the free market, of low taxes, of private enterprise, of deregulation." Jonathan Evans the Tory MEP leader speaking today in Bournmouth came up with this prize statment. Yes I get his point but he labours it a tad methinks.

That being said it was a perfectly competant speech which seemed top achieve its aim - sounding upbeat - while carefully avoiding the elephant in the room - the prescence of so many UKIP members in the hemicycle in Strasbourg.

There was in fact a glancing reference. As he said "in the European Elections too, the Conservative Party won", but he had to deal with differing factors "Despite our achievements in June, some good colleagues were not returned to the Parliament. They represented our party and Britain with distinction. We respect the right of the electorate to choose the people they want to represent them. . I wonder if by this he was suggesting that some of those who did not return were not "good"?

2004-10-05T13:41:00.000+02:00

Howard plans regional spy school

As the fellow who flagged this little news item up said, "Dead disappointed to find out it refers to John Howard.. You think Blair and Prescott are paranoid now, imagine what we could do if we had our own spy school!"

2004-10-04T18:39:00.000+02:00

“Thatcher was Indian”

Well goodness, gracious me!! With a speech that sounded more like a script from the hit BBC comedy show, Nirj Deva startled an audience today at the Brussels gathering of the Global Organization of People of Indian Origin. He didn’t quite top the infamous “The royal family? Indian! Have arranged marriages, live in the same house and all work for the family business. Indian!” but wasn’t a million miles off.
“Milton Friedman is an Indian. Fredrick Von Hayek is an Indian. Margaret Thatcher is an Indian. Tony Blair is an Indian. And even George Bush is an Indian, though not a Red Indian”.

2004-10-02T11:45:00.000+02:00

Quote of the day 2

Nicholas Soames on the Hartlepool result
" that it had been a "f****** awful" result for the party.
"It's a disastrous result, but it's only a by-election," "

2004-10-02T11:39:00.000+02:00

"Kerry would make an excellent President of Europe"

German Academic talking as a guest on CNN Europe last night. Didn't catch her name and CNN doesn't have a transcript up of World news Europe.

2004-09-30T17:54:00.000+02:00

Visigoths! Invertebrates! Mountebanks! Lily-livered bandicoots!

or Independent Schools and the Stockholm syndrome

Again our yahoo government is intent on wrecking. Fresh from tearing out the heart of the countryside and emasculating the armed forces it turns its blood-crazed eyes about. With the grunt of Hyde those pools of ill-formed hate and envy alight upon their next victim.
Public Schools.

However in some mad death ritual, just like the approach of the chiefs of the General Staff and the Countryside Alliance as they cosied up to their murderer it seems that the independent schools have fallen in love with those who wish to destroy them. In a mealy mouthed response to the Parliamentary report that desires to strip charitable status from private schools, rendering them uneconomic and thus only for the super rich (Well that is apart from the European Schools – but that is a different matter).

“The Independent Schools Council (ISC) today welcomed publication of the report of the Joint Parliamentary Committee set up to scrutinise the Charities Bill.”… “ISC schools are committed to working as part of the nation’s education system and increasing their partnership with maintained schools and the wider community”.

And with that their death warrant was signed.

2004-09-30T11:30:00.000+02:00

They are better men than I

The only time I got into a scrap when I was doing TA stuff with the fine jocks of Glasgow's finest crowd; Princess Margaret's own Glasgow and Ayrshire Regiment, third battalion the Royal Highland Fusilierswas during basic training down in Catterick. Two of my fellow jocks and I were having a crafty fag,
"Right you 'orrible lot, go and burst into flames"
When through the window into one of those tarred wooden barrack blocks were a couple of brown chaps having a drink.
"Why the fuck are those pakis in our army".

I am not a violent man but I hit him.

Today I can honestly say I approve well give three cheers to a government action. Granting citizenship to the Gurkhas is only right and proper. Not only that those who serve us and our Queen do so in the knowledge that when they go home they are targeted by the Maoist Nepali Khmer Rouge. But why is the offer timed? Surelythe few thousand Gurkhas who might come and live in our country have earned it through their dedication, service and sacrifice.
According to the Brigade of Gurkhas Welfare Society, that means 100 Gurkhas in the UK - a quarter of the total number who live here - will not be entitled to stay.

2004-09-28T11:34:00.000+02:00

Tomato And Basil Sandwiches

Justa short flag up, a new addition to the blog roll. Cares too much, shares too much - (what do you expect from an EU humanitarian type?) but a good egg none the less.

2004-09-28T10:47:00.000+02:00

Lib Dems spin themselves out on Dorset sticky wicket

Wimborne Minster in Dorset has had a cricket team going since 1787. For most of that time the cricket has been played at Hanham’s a pitch near the centre of town. The team have leased the pitch from the local squires, the Hanhams, for much of that time.
However the lease was coming to an end and the club house had been condemned. So the Hanham trustees started talking to interested parties and concluded a deal with Waitrose. The deal was this. The cricket club would move to the other side of town near the river, but as close to the old Minster church as before. They would get a brand new club house (which would allow then to bid for minor county cricket matches – thus possibilities of earning money to support cricket in the town). The ground to be donated by the Hanham family and the club house by Waitrose.
Waitrose would get the pitch next to an old and threatened Safeways/Morrissons. And the Hanham family would get some much needed cash to help restore Deans Court – their pretty home.
However that was without the self-obsessed and incompetent Lib Dem councillor triumvirate that run the town. This trio, of which Pat Hymers DL, and Marilyn Osler sit on the planning committee of East Dorset District Council immediately launched into a “Save our cricket pitch” and “Wimborne against Waitrose campaigns”.
Of course not only are they arguing directly against the wishes of the cricket club which voted in favour of the scheme but they have buggered there own chances of having anything to do with the decision. Due to jumping on the bandwagon they are barred from being involved in the planning Committee discussion about the project.
Bliss. Better still has been the attempt by Hymers husband – 20 years a council employee, writing to the local press demanding that she be allowed to vote on the issue.
Which would, of course, be in direct contravention of laws governing members interests.
Not one of the Lib Dems has been known to attend a cricket match

2004-09-28T09:35:00.000+02:00

It is cos I is a copper!!- Or Perverting the Cause of Justice

It seems that the police have decided to keep employing PC Tariq, "did I drive into your car, hospitalise you, drive off at high speed try to pressuire my family into taking the blame and then respray my car?" Mahmood.

Paul Kelly, chairman of the Police Federation for Greater Manchester, said: "We do have some officers, who are few and far between, serving with minor criminal convictions after making an honest mistake."

Honest mistake, huh? If it was an honest mistake he would have stopped an offered assistance. An honest mistake is like picking up the wriong suitcase at the airport. Not hit and run. This is Perverting The Course Of Justice

Where

It is an offence for a person to intentionally interfere or attempt to interfere with the administration of justice, the course of which has been embarked upon.

Examples:
Falsely admitting to a crime,
Police Officer abusing position to allow someone to avoid prosecution,
Making a false allegation of an offence,
Destroying and concealing evidence of a crime,
Giving another persons details when being reported for an offence.

2004-09-26T21:02:00.000+02:00

“They think that having a beer is a party”

Via a weekly paper produced by the Flemish authorities in a desperate attempt to persuade people to learn Dutch I discover this.
“Belgians party less often than other Europeans, the English party the most, they sometimes think that a single beer is a party”

Well that’s us told then.

2004-09-23T17:54:00.000+02:00

Is it because I is a copper?

The story of PC Tariq Mahmood is riven with questions. Why is it that he has not be sacked?
The policeman was fined "£200 for failing to stop at a road accident, £175 for failing to report an accident and a further £200 for having no insurance".

he left three people hospitalised, when he learnt that his collegues were investigating him he tried to persuade his girlfriend and sister to take the blame. (Bet the persuasion was friendly. Then when they wouldn't he blamed it on the death of his mother 5 years ago!!

Could it be that he has not had a bigger book thrown at him because he is a member of a minority community, the boys in blue?

No, well not according to the fellow himself, "I think the punishment is way over the top especially the community service."From the start the police have treated me harshly. They had me in custody for 15 hours and turned over my house - you'd think I was a terrorist or something."

2004-09-23T13:47:00.000+02:00

Gmail

fascinating stuff about the run away success of the Gmail launch. As it says here. "People being so excited that they are paying for a free product is marketing perfection" at one point invites were changing hands at $500 on ebay - which is mad.

Maybe one of the most perfect service launches in the history of IT

That being said, still have 4 invites if anybody wants them

2004-09-23T12:35:00.000+02:00

Association of British Counties Home Page

What a splendid bunch of chaps and chappesses. I applaud them, salute them and no doubt doff my cap and tug my forelock.
The foundation of life is village, hundred, (maybe wapontake if the mood takes you there) county, country. In that order.

The best bit of it, to my pleasant suprise is that due to some whizzbang idea at the GPO, the 'Flexible addressing policy', they provide a complete glossary of correct county addresses for those unfortubnate enough to have been forcebly relocated under various council pogroms.

Three cheers and a pint of foaming ale to the lot of them - via Blognor Regis

2004-09-18T09:36:00.000+02:00

Scots Parliament Translation service - can we have one of these in Brussels please, it would make the job of sitting in on Committees so much more fun

It seems that the Scots want MEPs to turn up and look at their folly, I think

"The Scottish Pairlament walcomes official visits fae folk fae Pairlaments in ither countries and aw. Gin ye’re wantin tae arrange an official visit for a group o folk fae anither Pairlament, please request hit as faur aheid as possible. Normally, we’ll no can arrange thir official visits while the Scottish Pairlament is in recess or wi less nor sax weeks’ notice".

2004-09-16T13:14:00.000+02:00

Let them eat ...water

How. Can. She. Be. So. Stupid. Agrrogant. Crass - words fail.

Or is it that she married below her.

"Clothing is wonderful, but let them go naked for a while, at least the kids," So says Teresa Heinz Kerry while visiting a hurricane relief centre.

2004-09-16T11:56:00.000+02:00

CBS Memos

The destruction of a smear almost in real time. Go to the Blithering Bunny for enlightenment and linkage. Now will the Guardian, the Indy and the BBC please admit their mistakes

2004-09-16T08:39:00.000+02:00

Blair's Plane has crashed:

Ok so it made me smile.

The plane crashed in the middle of rural Dorset. Panic stricken the Police, Secret Service, MI5, Bomb Squad, Terrorist Squad et al mobilize and descend on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulkleft smouldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.

Forensics descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains ofthe crew or the Prime Minister's staff.

To their amazement, a lonefarmer was ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor.

"Sir," the senior MI5 Officer asked, panting and out of breath."Did you see this terrible accident happen?"
"Arr, that I did." The man muttered unconcernedly.
"Do you realize that is the Prime Minister's airplane and Mr. Blair and his cronies were all on board?"
"Arr."
"Were there any survivors?" the officer gasped.
"No. They were right dead." The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor."I done buried them myself. Took'all mornin'."
"The Prime Minister and all his cronies were dead?" The officer gulped in disbelief.

"Well," the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work."They kept a-saying they wern't ... but you know what liars they was."

2004-09-15T22:09:00.000+02:00

Have more

Wandering downstairs this afternoon with sprog attached squaw style to my front, I was greeted by the landlord.
I think I may have mentioned this chap before, but if not a quick recap.
Mr Ibrahim Gecer is a Turkish Assyrian Aramaic speaker, and the churchwarden of the local Aramaic church. He is also a crook when it comes to being a landlord, but a kindly and smiling one at that.
Anyway, he saw the sprog, beamed his most beamish of smiles and started to ask when it was we are definitively moving. I talk about the end of November. All the while he is chuckling the poor runt under the chin and making cooing noises.
The cooing abruptly stops when I mention that my darling wife is again enceinte.

“That is marvellous news. We Christians must have more children. The Mussulmans, they have ten, twenty and Christendom will be overrun, so have more children, well done”Who knows, if we keep it up maybe he will cut the rent?

2004-09-15T16:49:00.000+02:00

Cowpat Hurling

Sometimes as the proprieter of a blog, one is driven through vanity to see who has dropped by. And today I discover that somebody came visiting after typing in the immoretal phrase, 'cowpat hurling'.

Whoever you are, may I thank you, welcome and tell me why someday.

2004-09-14T13:19:00.000+02:00

The shameful thing we are forced to do with language.

In the Scotsman (behind free registration) the British Commander of our troops in Iraq (and previous to that Afghanistan) General John McColl has been forced to say this.

But he claimed that while the number of British troops had not been increased, plans to reduce them by one battalion had been dropped, which he argued did amount to a reinforcement.

Of course what he had said previous to this is probably enough to ensure that he never gets another command. He has had the balls to turn to Sir Mike 'hooon' Jackson and the world at large and complain about the Governments plans to cut the number of infantry regiments. But ebevn he has to come up with that classic.

2004-09-14T12:36:00.000+02:00

Tall story

Uk Commentator hits the nail on the head with a link to this mornings Today programme interview with a Chavette about the failure of non-custodial sentances.

What was in some ways even better was the mirror piece, an item a couple of minutes later about 'saftey' Blunkett telling the police that they must be more caring of victims and how they should provide victim support and greater consideration and sensitivity.
Sensitvity be dammned, I just want them to nick villains. That'll do. Get the blighter who stole my chums wallet, broke into my flat, you name it. Get them, then persuade the CPS to prosecute and sentence them dfor a sufficient time. Dammit.
That is the consideration that this be-theived chap would like.

2004-09-13T14:01:00.000+02:00

Flying their Flag

Just wandered home past the Commission HQ and the re was a large demonstration parading past, all flags, drums and chanting – something or other about terrorists.
Getting closer I noticed that the massive flag being carried at the front of the demo was this one. The flag of the Pahlavis.

Curious Thinks I. So I wander closer top the drumming. The cant went something like this Take the Mujad of the list, Mullahs are the terrorist. The mix of royalist and what can only described as communist flags together demanding that the EU act on Iran was good to see, but ultimately pointless.
The EU will do nothing until the Iranians have their bombs – and then the EU will say, well we cannot do anything – it might provoke a nuclear war.
The horse hasn’t bolted yet, but its looking at the door real funny.

2004-09-11T09:26:00.000+02:00

Autoas-fisk-iation

So, three years after the international crimes against humanity in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania we were bombing Fallujah. Come again? Hands up those who knew the name of Fallujah on 11 September 2001. Or Samarra. Or Ramadi. Or Anbar province. Or Amarah. Or Tel Afar, the latest target in our "war on terror'' although most of us would find it hard to locate on a map (look at northern Iraq, find Mosul and go one inch to the left). Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive.

My emphasis. Fopr dear Robert to use this phrase is astonishing -sadly I shall have to wait until Monday before I can read the rtest of the article, but if the headline is anything to go by it should be vintage Fisk.
We should not have allowed 19 murderers to change our world

2004-09-09T23:43:00.000+02:00

Stroke of Genius

Centigrade or Farenheit? The third option - go read

Key pull quotes
"So, I propose a new temperature scale that combines the best of both. One that has 0 degrees as the freezing point of water, and 100 degrees as the hottest temperature ever recorded in the UK. This clearly tells you exactly how hot it’s going to be outside, has simple boundaries to the scale ("freezing" and "hottest day ever"), and has 10 sensible 10-degree gradations for each type of clothing you should wear in between."

and

"Of course, this now means that water boils at 265 degrees, but who ever needs to know what temperature water boils at? I know when water has boiled because my kettle switches itself off. I don’t need a thermometer to make a cup of tea."

Via Zoe again